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Symone Gets Accosted in the Jug Bathroom

Symone went to the Jug last night and was accosted by an angry girl in the bathroom.

"She weasled her way into the bathroom and then tried to make me leave early. Also, she peed like a MONSTER."

"What do monsters pee like?

"PSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

...

"But seriously, she was peeing so hard that she must have bore a hole at the bottom of the bowl."

Symone is in the Christmas spirit

"Did Jesus breastfeed? Yes."

-Symone

Symone is cold so she put on her jacket

"We have to sit in our house like poor people!"

-Symone

Symone also can't believe it IS butter

Just an update: Symone ACTUALLY MADE BUTTER.

"A big-ass bowl of homemade butter," as Gillian said.

Symone can't believe it's not butter

Symone: Yeah, let's make butter!
Emily: Why?
Symone: I dunno...I was feeling extreme.

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Symone knows how to get out of going to class

"Sometimes I really wanna give myself food poisoning...it's an easy
way to get out of class! You just leave food out, and it doesn't taste
bad when you eat it. Sure, you get sick later..."

Sent from my iPhone

Symone reads this blog

"Oh yeah, I remember saying some of these things."

-Symone

Symone is very specific about her writing implements

"I'm using real pencils these days, like the kind you have to sharpen. I go to the library and I use the sharpener on the wall, and it's like gunna-gunna-gunna-gunna. I get up and sharpen them in class and people are like, 'What the hell are you doing?'"

-Symone

Symone points out some plot flaws in Harry Potter

"How come none of them ever has to pee? Like they're always doing things, none of them are ever like, 'Be right back, guys, I gotta go.'"

-Symone

Symone believes in animal luxury

"I bought the Britney Spears and Paris Hilton fragrances for my cat."

-Symone

Symone loves animals

"I tried to save a clam from a restaurant once."

-Symone

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Symone and obesity

"Fat people are people too! Would you still be friends with me if I get fat? Jiggle-jiggle, jiggle-jiggle..."

Symone's plan worked!

"Look! Dressing like Bella got me a boyfriend!"

-Symone

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Symone has a townie boyfriend

...she thinks.

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Symone and the closet

"He's in the closet. In the dark...where I keep all my men."

Symone found an abandoned "baby"

"You can have some milk! Just not from my boobs."

-Symone

Symone as Cinderella

Symone accidentally flung her shoe across the room at the Hourglass. When a confused male bystander came to bring her shoe back to her, Symone held up her foot and shouted "Put it on!"
The man placed the suede slipper on Symone'e foot, a la Cinderella.

Symone went to the foam party

...wearing suede shoes and a very expensive outfit. Mistaaaaaake...

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SYMONE IS 21!!!!

Happy birthday to Symone!

She's chugging 4Loko to celebrate.

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